Sunday, September 6, 2009

30 and and the small town?

Age is relative to a lot of things.  Looks, experience, health.....geography?

I have been single in Manhattan (and Brooklyn and Queens).   I have been single in Los Angeles.  (Just to be clear, I have also had boyfriends in all of these locations.  Don't cry for me, Argentina.)  I have not been single in, say, a small town in Virginia, since I was 17 years old.  Being single in a big city is easy.  Everyone is too busy to get married.  We've all got jobs and dinner reservations, art openings and happy hour.  Being 30 and single is nothing.  I am one of many, a majority even.  Ever seen a little show called 'Sex and the City'?  I may not ever own Manolos (unless they do a line for Target), but to the dating stuff, hey, I can relate.

Now, I am contemplating a move home.  Home is not bright lights, big city.  Home is four stoplights and a Wal-Mart.  At home, being 30 and single means that there is something wrong with you.  For all my forward thinking and modern living these last 10 years, where I come from, I am woefully behind.

Everyone I know from high school is married.  EVERYONE.  Most have babies, some TWO BABIES or more.  Facebook is a minefield of pregnancy announcements and shower photos.  I have spent most of my twenties trying not to get pregnant.  Apparently, I had it backwards.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for all my friends with these beautiful families.  What an accomplishment.  They all seem genuinely happy.  I gotta say, I'm a little embarrassed.  What have I got to show for my life on the outside?  "Me?  No, I'm not married.  I've been too busy paying exorbitant rents and accumulating credit card debt.  But, I do know a surefire hangover remedy!"

What will people think?  And more importantly, who the hell am I going to date?


Laura Simms said...

I wasn't looking for a hubby, moved to small town Virgina, and BAM! Hubby. But I was 22. You're prolly screwed.

Massimo said...

I understand this lots. Big cities make it ok for people to stay single and live action packed lives of perpetual youth. Whenever I go home I feel odd that I'm not married or on any sort of immediate upwards career path. All I can say to you is - don't move to Virginia, silly! Keep doin' what you're doin'! .

Meagan said...

Other things to consider...Though your friends back home are/seem happy I'm sure you can think of many many many things that you've done that they will never do, due to having children/a family early. Turning 30 is tough because it makes you start to reevaluate things but don't let that evaluation convince you that what you HAVE done is not important, worthwhile, a great betterment of self. Just think, when you do have kids (and you WILL!!) there will be so many fun, funny, impressive stories to tell them! My parents were in their mid-30s when they had me and they great lives they led have been a constant inspiration. So there.

Chad, Chris, Emily, & Kaleb said...

Meagan is right! None of them dreamed the life they are living. I was fortunate enough to enjoy happiness alongside you in Manhattan and could not have dreamed for more!!! No arguments allowed about my married/kid life....I am the epitome of anomale.

peaksview1416 said...

I laughed out loud at this one several times--so many brutal truths in there! I don't know why you're thinking of moving, but I have to take this chance to say that as I've been reading your blog, I have come to really admire the person you've become at 30. You may not have alot of money, but it seems that you really enjoy your life, you're putting yourself out there doing things you love (which takes a great deal of courage), and you seem to keep things in perspective, remembering to simply LIVE in the midst of the chaos and uncertainty of life. From one who married her small town high school sweetheart (and thankfully moved the hell away from there!) to someone who has spent the last 10 years getting to know herself and doing what she loves, I say that is something to be very proud of and not take for granted. I find alot of accomplishment in that. And for what it's worth, when I was 23 and newly married, I definitely wondered if I would be better off living your kind of life, being on my own and finding myself before I settled down.

Jessica said...

Hey even in a small town like Waynesboro you can still be single and it be VERY HARD to find a boyfriend much less a decent guy.Right now I like being single.Ten years ago I wouldn't have been mature enough to get married much less have a steady boyfriend.I've dated some guys in the passed ten years.I've also learned that our generation jumps into things very quickly and then you in up screwed (and not the good kind of screwed).So I would rather put myself out there and yet be cautious,if not you'll be married in two months and split up two years later. So Sara I am saying this as a homage to you.Yay single women in their thirties.Food for thought:people nowadays look much younger than generations before,it doesn't mean face lifts and collagen fillers.Take good care of yourself and yourself will take care of you.Also I'm not being narsistic,just honest. So my point being the thirties are the new twenties.